Third Anniversary – Friendship

“Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed. When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we know.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

A couple of days ago the third anniversary of Être ou Avoir came and left without any fanfare, let alone any postings. This does not mean however that I forgot that it has been three years since we went live at Rather, I knew I would get around to posting, and instead have been enjoying some time tieing up some loose ends, and then taking some time with friends, rather than jump on to my computer.

Now that I’m hear and reflect briefly on the past year of both blogging, and the past year in general, I find that friendship has been more prevalent in my thoughts and in my postings. This is certainly not to say that I have all of a sudden seen value in friends. Far from it in fact. For years now I have put a high value on the relationship with my friends (including my family). Regardless of time and space, the relationships I attempt to build with close friends involve trust, care, patience, intentionality and love. While some might see these as being the qualities of a partner relationship, it became clear a few years ago that nothing less should be expected from a close friendship. Values, hopes, challenges, and balance – perhaps the defining characteristics of us all – can all be defined, supported, and achieved with friends of this nature.

The values, hopes, challenges and balance woven into this past year have meant a little less blogging from me. However, they have also resulted in a deepening of my close friendships. Quite frankly, I would not have wanted it any other way. At the outset of this blog I made clear that it is important to be off engaged in other things, especially adventure, instead of typing on a computer. In this past year I feel I have. Further, friends have garnered a great deal more influence in this space on the internet in the past year, with suggestions, feedback, questions, sharing, and conversations. Quite frankly, what would I do without them? 🙂

In relation to the theme: I have always tended to lean towards the side of being a friend, rather than having friend. Yet, with personal milestones this past year, overcoming challenges, and the deepening of friendships in all areas of my life – work, play, family, social – I see value in both the being and the having. That being said, the act of being, or existing in friendship, is still one of the finest things in life.

Rather than continue to babble on, about either a third year of blogging finished, or friendship, perhaps a couple of quotes that balance each other off would be more appropriate.

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention… A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words. – Rachel Naomi Remen

A friend is one before whom I may think aloud. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

As you know, I’m a fan of saying what you mean yourself, but I still get roped into a quote every now and then. I do not fret about this. It will likely continue to happen in the fourth year of this blog. C’est la vie. I look forward to the adventures, and postings of the next year. More than those, I look forward to the continued, and perhaps even new, friendships of the next year, and look back with wonderment, and gratitude.

Thank you. A bientôt.

The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this? – Henery David Thoreau


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